


Harry papabel and the boogins: story 1

by DrFunk98



Category: (My) Immortal: The Web Series, Doctor Who, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Multi, i also havent read the books, im only remembering the movies vaguely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:20:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7207619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrFunk98/pseuds/DrFunk98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i was bored and was leaving school today and then thought of this and my friends helped write it</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. dick chibbels

A story by DrFunk98 and friends. It was the year 1979.....maybe, the year ted cruz ate a baby. A bearded fuck hunk came down from the sky on a flying grayhound, YES the bus. And gandor stopped being a light pole, they didnt respect his life choices. Micky mouse was a cat , and then wasnt a cat. "WAT THE FUK, WE DO WITH BABY!?" gandor asked with mouth and fist up rock. "HO HO We should ditch the shit, and go snort magic coke off of hookers asses." "Magic hookers?" ron jeremy asked "Ho Ho are you fucking kidding? Of course, what are we gonna hire muggle hookers?" 

 

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN  
harry potta yeaaaaaaa 

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

The year was now 1990 and a now grown baby was now grown and he had a dick drawn on his forehead and a forehead drawn on his dick. His name was Harry papabel he was a odd marky mark and the funky bunch. Harry was the families bitch, and the bitch was the harries family, harrys many fluids kept the building intact. In his off time he would stare at a wall, he drilled a hole in the wall but that didnt really go anywhere. Suddenly he heard limp bizkit playing and knew it was gibby and his odd ability to play music from 4 years in the future. He smashed harrys door and said "Oi faggot you got a letter!!!" and then kicked harry in the jim jams. "Harry opened the letter" shit did i write them saying that? He opened the letter and saw a letter " T" harry then knew what he had to do.

A trailer for cats and dogs

And now the house was flooded with mail, The uncle named fat uncle was like"BEEEEEEEEEGH!!!" and took the family to the zoo, harry released a snake, hopefully so he may go back to kojima like was always meant to be. The family got very pissy at harry the aunt was all like "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the britsh thing, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire UK armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me at the zoo? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the UK and your face is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United kingdoms tea bags and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo." ........"I didnt say anything" harry replied and THEN HE WAS GROUNDED. AND THEY MOVED TO ANOTHER ISLAND!!!

"Oh bloody'ell" harry said SUDDENLY SOMEONE BROKE DOWN THE DOOR "DONT WORRY LUV CAVALRY'S 'ERE!!!" tracer said "GASP" harry was happy cause he thought he was finally saved, ON HIS BIRTHDAY EVEN. "Oh....srry...wrong house....." tracer akwardley nudged out of the door way, harry was sad, UNTIL SUDDENLY RON JEREMY CIRCUM 1990 CAME THROUGH THE BROKEN DOWN DOOR. " Oink" he said then shot JIGGELS.....GIBBY!!!! He took harry and ran, as soon as they were far enough, Ron jeremy told hair about his future destiny "Your a porn star harry" "Imma wat?"

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!


	2. alexis texas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to do this

A story by DrFunk98 and friends. "Your a future porn star harry." ron jeremy said, you know were this going, go to youtube and search *your a wizard harry* ron jeremy then grabbed harry and left to the magician porn star world, THE DICK IS HERE AND THEN *POOF* ITS GONE!!!! "Welcome to the wizard store where you will get a stick,....just a stick, also a weird avian fish monster." ron jeremy said. "Oh......is it um....oh." harry commented. The two went to wizard starbucks, fish tits, harry threw the coffe cup to the ground "GET YO WAGON JEREMY IMMA BREAK DA BANK!!!!" harry and ron stole money from the bank and fled, "Okay so harry i need you to run into that wall." ron jeremy said "GOT IT!!!" harry ran into the wall and then passed out. Harry woke up with a chipped tooth and a broken nose, "OI FAGGOT THAT WAS METAL!!!!" a ginger boy shouted at harry, "I apologize but im not a harley rider." harry explained, see there would be a suicide squad reference here but this was the 90s, "Who are you?" harry asked, "MAI NAME BOOGIES MCSWAG!!!" this name obviously was made up but harry was an impressionable kid so cared he did not. An girl soon showed up, her name "I am ham hawk.".....ye..yeah, ham hawk was a cat person, her family were made up..." OI BITCH YU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT REKT!!!".....is she gonna keep interrupting m.."I CAN FIX IT!!!!" hamhawk then starting beating harry with a stick, a dalek scooted through the trains hallway, "CEASE WITH THE PELTING OF WOOD IMMEDIATELY, OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!!!" the dalek then shot hamhawk with a laser giving her a mild case of dead. She now had 8 lives, BEFORE THEY KNEW IT THEY WERE AT HOGGINS..........

Gandor brought all the students together "Cough w..welcome to hoggins, school of ......magic...or....something or other...we will now put this hat on you, and assign you...to place." gandor then brought up a child and put a hat on him" AH AHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" the kid was then consumes by the hat, "Okay now that we have a sacrifice the hat is awake." ......holy shit what..gandor put the hat on another kid "GAHH" the hat yelmed, "Okay you go to bird house". after hours harry, hamhawk, and swag were in bird house, kid who will cut the head off a snake went to bumblefaggot, and some blonde bitch named drago(the antagonist of rocky 4) was sent to,.....snaky........hose....argh. Harry and the crew met a gross ghost man, "HELLO ALL CHECK DIS SHIT OUT!!!!" he then showed his neck whole, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" the next day they were practicing with.....who i assume was a woman, and they were learning how to ride rakes, they were popular on amazon. "Alright children what you do is stick out your hand and shout, XBOX ON!!!", swag said " YO X BAX ERECT!!!" swag then got hit so hard in the crotch he collapsed, "X BOX ON!!!" harry said, swag and harry were then in the nurses office the whole day, apparently swag and harry were at the girls course and no one corrected them.

Harry got a ball, it lit up red, "red means stop" harry thought to himself, drago stole it, "HEY!!" "I must break you." drago then walked away, IT WAS THE HALLOWEENS NOW BITCH, SEXY WITCH COSTUMES FOR ALL THE MENS, especially the mens, all the students felt uncomfortable so now no one dressed off. " UH.....wait a sex...i mean sex..AH FUCK...WE GOT OGOR!!!!", "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" harry and swag went to the girls bathroom, this time knowing, they wanted to see if girl bathrooms were nicer then boys, and the answer is yes,"Dmn urs ar gruss." swag said, "welp...shit." harry commented, the two noticed a scared hamhawk, and begain hearding all star. To be continued.


	3. Sasha grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will we do one of cursed child?......No

A story by DrFunk98 and friends. Ham hawk was hiding from the ogar that broke into the girls bathroom, IT WAS MIKE MYERS, he recently got the script as he was filling in for the late chris farly, ham hawk was the jiggins as she turned her head to see another girl hiding next to her, she had long ebony black hair with purple streaks and red tips that reached her mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears, this girls name was Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. A kind of loner girl whod been hanging around drago, she would spray shaving cream on all her food, not so she could eat it. "Meow bark bark?" Ham hawk asked ebony, "NOOO LEAVE ME ALONE, IM A HETEROSEXUAL GAY VAMPIRE!!!", ham hawk weld up all the frank Sinatra in the air AND RAN AT THE OGOR!!! She tried to use a spell known as attack on titan season 2, BUT MIKE MYERS HAD WITH HIM 8 APPEARANCES OF PUSS IN BOOTS IN SHREK RELATED THINGS WITH HIM AND KILLED HAM HAWK FOR GOOD WITH IT!!!! HArry and boogies ran in AND THEY WHIPPED OUT A COPY OF THE LOVE GURU, MIKE WAS EMBARRASSED AND HE WENT BACK TO CANADA!!! The other teachers ran in and screamed in cuthulu talk because two boys were in the bathroom. The next day professor snakey name was teaching school things, "Murpurp" he said in his fuck me eyes voice, later harry and boogies were dragging the corpse of ham hawk looking for ADVENTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!!!!! They found a bad room, and hid so not to be spotted by dazzler the schools ground keeper willy. In there they found a three headed fursuit, ゴゴゴゴ, then they left.

A MONTH PASSED AND IT WAS SOME TIME FOR FOOBA, harry was played to play this game now that he discovered how to use a garden hose, harry noticed backwards head man, "!!eheh yadot strops nikool uoy yrrah IH", HARRY RAN, HARRY RAN FAST!!! Harry and drago flew on their garden hoses and tried to grab "da ball" BUT OTHER PLAYERS WERE GETTING HIT IN THE BALLS BY "da big ball" BUT HARRY DID IT, HARRY GOT "da ball" IT WAS TIME FOR CAKE, there was no cake. CHRISTMAS TIME HAD COME AND harry was sad, boogies walked in dragging ham hawks corpse "Ey fag, whys you pussy?" he said to harry, " *sniff*....Im batman." harry answered, harry woke up at night to see SARNTAN CLUES, THE PIG HEADED GOAT DEMON WITH THE HEART OF GOLD, voiced by cinema snob, " QUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!" THE BEAST SCREAMED, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" harry grabbed his ears and streamed on twitch, he woke up not remembering what he saw the night previous , he got his toys, his soda, BUT HE ALSO GOT SARNTAN CLUES MAGICAL INVISIBLE COAT HE LEFT BEHIND!!!! Harry was about to head to the girls locker room but, he heard the teachers saying secrets and.......wait......wait now im talking about the second movie.....fuck.

OH WAIT I LOOKED BACK THERE WAS SOMETHING HAPPENING, SNAKE SOUNDING NAME AND BACKWARDS HEAD MAN WERW TALKING IN THERE GENITALS, TALKING ABOUT THE RED STONE OF GIGIHOKAWAKUAUUUU, harry ate a book to get its knowledge, harry then found a mirror and his parents were fucking in it, harry left. Gandor found him and then brought him down to his secret chambers so he could give him life advice,"Do not eat some of the frenchfries on the ride home from mcdonalds, or you will have less before then you did." Harry would remember this until book 6. ron jaramy showed them a dragon being birthed, they scare, but he takes them into the woods where they..HOLY FUCKING SHIT ITS A TELEPORTIN CENTAUR!!!! TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
